Ben Nicholson

Preview: Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’ gets trailer

Now modern cinema was corrupt in God’s eyes and was full of mediocre blockbusters. So the Lord said unto filmmaker Darren Aronofsky, “I am going to put an end to all big budget movies, for the multiplex is filled with mundanity because of them. So make yourself a $130 million biblical epic; make a film with enough crazy to snap audiences out of their stupor, regardless of whether it works or not.” Darren Aronofsky did everything just as God commanded him, and now the trailer for the resulting Noah (2014) has come thundering onto the internet. Taking the general narrative from the bestselling book of all time, the trailer sees the eponymous Noah (Russell Crowe) awake from a particularly nasty apocalyptic dream.

In said vision, God informs him that a storm’s a-comin’ and commands him to “build a vessel, to hold the innocent.” On it, he will protect all of the animals from the ensuing flood as well as his own family made up of Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman and Douglas Booth. Also appearing are the aged Methuselah (Anthony Hopkins) and Ray Winstone as the kind of warmongering miscreant that has prompted God’s watery wrath in the first place.

The recently revealed full-length trailer is chock-full of epic weather phenomena, portentous dialogue and what would appear to be a full out military assault on the famous ark. Not to mention a flaming magical sword, by the looks of it. That means that the six-armed angels, known as ‘Watchers’ are yet to be revealed. Aronofsky’s Noah could be inspired madness or a complete disaster; it may be wholeheartedly embraced or utterly spurned by the cinemagoing public; it may well cause untold amounts of consternation after some troubled test screenings with religious audiences in the US. However, an ark will be built – definitely. Animals will come two by two – possibly. We’re all in for one hell of a ride – undoubtedly.

Darren Aronofsky’s $130 million biblical epic Noah will be released in UK cinemas on 28 March, 2014.

Ben Nicholson